Alright, I know I'm bad.

I feel really guilty.

I swear.

Honestly.

I should've written two weeks ago. At the very latest, I should have written a week ago. But instead, I just now blogged. I'm an evil kid.

I think this is because I had such a good time. You know ... it was so wonderful and ... this blog entry basically just ... finalizes the fact that it's closed. And I don't want to admit to myself that I'm not in Indiana anymore. So I won't talk about it anymore than to say it was great. No, is great.

School! Yay. I'm exempt from all of my exams except for Economics. Out of eight classes, I'm finished with seven. And I took at test in Econ today. I got a 77! Woohoo!! That's the highest I've ever scored on a multiple choice test in that class, I think. Which is actually saying something, because Mrs. Presley has an -extremely- difficult class. It's crazy.

Anyway, that's all. This hurts.

This is it.

Today I'm flying off into the wild blue yonder. Twenty four hours from now, I'll be sleeping in Indianapolis. Thirty six hours from now, I'll be holding my girl. Fourty eight hours from now, I'll be in her house.

It's a good feeling.

I hope she likes what I got her for her birthday. I think she will but ... I'm so dysfucntional at this kinda stuff that I'm not 100% sure that she would. She might expect something more like ... I dunno. Dating-y. Or something.

It's really cold. The temperature just dropped straight through the floor a couple days ago. Just ... BAM. First it was mid-50s, nice day out. Then, the next thing you know, it's upper 20s and the dog refuses to go outside to take care of his business 'cuz it's too dang cold. That teaches you something right there, when the -dog- refuses to go outside. Dogs are supposed to love the outside. I mean, they -live- there naturally. Crazed beasts.

Anyways, I need to make sure that all my nice warm clothing is packed and that I'll look nice for my girl. Expect an update here in a week or so, after I get back!

More lateness. More me being a bad kid. ^^

I'm leaving on Tuesday. I meet up with Amber on Wednesday. I leave Indiana a week from tomorrow. Yeah ... long time.

School is being slugged through in a rather ... unwilling yet determined fashion. I'm slowly beating all my stuff. All As, except for a C in Economics. Blasted class. I hate it. But I'm rather happy with all my other classes!

Amber and I are really looking forward to next week. It's only three days away! Woohoo!!

Yeah yeah yeah. I'm a bad kid.

But I rubbed Sam outta the picture. >)

... anyway. I'm going back up to Indiana over Thanksgiving. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday thereof. Hopefully I'll be with Amber from Wednesday to Sunday, straight. If everything goes according to plan.

I think I've found something that I honestly wouldn't mind doing for the rest of my life. Career-wise, I mean! Psychology. Yeah, it's amusing because I have a friend who's in college, studying to be a psychologist, and I always made fun of her about it. You know, call her "psycho" and the like. And here I am, finding myself fascinated with it. I always was, to some degree ... but it's just incredibly interesting now.

Model United Nations is also good ... but I've never even mentioned it here before. I'm hoping we get better country selections at the next conference than we de at the last one. I was placed in Cameroon. >< Gack. How boring. I mean, they have -no- wait whatsoever in anything that they do. Y'know ... can't really push people around. I want to get Japan or a different WEOG nation at the next conference. That'd be great. I got nominated for Best Delegate somehow at this last one ... not really sure how. It's not like I could do anything besides like ... sit there and listen to the powerful nations. Oh well.

... I am -so- looking forward to Thanksgiving!

Wow. It's been a while, hasn't it?

That's why I hate marching season. So little time. I wake up at 5:45 every morning to go to school, and then when I get home, I do my homework and then crash in bed. I feel so tired, I don't think I could take writing a little something here.

I'm beginning to get worried about Amber. Her mom has set her up on dates with this guy Sam, who seems to have definately fallen for her. And she feels herself falling for him. So I need to figure out how to win her back from this guy that has a natural advantage of location.

So I'll be putting my best moves on her come Thanksgiving, when I'll be going up there for four days.

And, just to mention, tomorrow will be one month after my first kiss with her.

Just as an FYI to all you non-existant readers out there, I'll be gone this weekend! I'm going on my first college tour to one of my primary choices ... Texas A&M. I'll be down there all weekend ... and hopefully it'll take my mind off of Amber for a bit.

Weekends are the hardest to deal with because I don't have stuff thrust in front of me to occupy my mind. Which means my mind keeps wondering back to her.

Anyway, mom's home! Gotta work on my Health stuff!!

There's really nothing to say.

I've inserted myself back into my normal life. I attend school, go to band practices, and attend scout meetings.

But there's something missing.

It's Amber.

I want her here so bad ... I want to be there so bad ... I honestly don't understand how I managed to survive over 17 and a half years without her. That's over 6300 days. And with just a single day, I suddenly can't see how I survived all those other thousands. It really just makes no sense. I wish she was here to hug me, to hold my hand, to smile ... so I could just see those incredible eyes of hers. I'm just hoping I can somehow live until November, so I can see her again.

Important Upcoming Dates:
October 3, Friday: Homecoming Game
October 4, Saturday: Marching Festival (our first contest)
October 5, Sunday: My 18th birthday
October 6, Monday: Senior Information Night at school

... gonna be busy that weekend, huh?

I'm back from Indiana but too happy and too sad to write here now ...

So I'll write later.

Wow, this is the shortest entry I've ever had! ^^

This is going to be really short because I can't concentrate.

In approximately twenty-four teensy-weensy gigantic mega hours, I'll be driving out of my house, heading vaguely towards Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. From there, I get on a plane and fly to Indiana. Roughly twelve hours after landing, I'll be standing in front of a restaurant, smiling broadly, as a certain female walks towards me.

I think I'm gonna die! ^^

School is fine. Turned in an essay to my English teacher today. I'm not sure how good it is. Oh well!

I'll be leaving for the French Club party in a few minutes. Should be fun. I'll be leaving early so I can come back home and talk to ma petite amie for a bit. >< Whoo, I'm whipped!

Today's September 11th. The second anniversary. I'm really not sure how I feel about that. We had ... I think three moments of silence today. Which is almost overdoing it, if you ask me. It starts reverent, and then slowly gets less and less so ... to the point that one almost doesn't care any more. And I don't think that the goal is to desensitize people to one of our nation's greatest tragedies.

Anyway, shortness has expired!! Bye! ^^

Wee!! Less than a week until I go up to Indiana!!

Anxious-excited!

On Thursday, we have a football game to play at. Yeah, it'll suck. Like, getting back home at midnight and doing homework before getting ready to march at 6:15AM on Friday kind of suck. Yeah, that's pretty sucky, huh? Not something I'm looking forward to.

And then, on Friday, I come home and talk to my amante for about an hour or so before fixing myself some ramen for dinner and then my mother and I leave for the airport. Whoo!! And the plan leaves at 8:54 on the dot (HA! Yeah right), and then we land in Indiana two hours later. Then I wake up and get all ready for meeting her; the rising sun.

Wee, it's going to be a fun Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday ... I hope I live. x.x

Been a few days!! So sorry!

So now that I've ranted several times about how I'm going to meet my amante and such ... I thought I'd take a short break and do some ranting on school.

Academic Decathalon is going interesting. Will be hard. Will be fun. Economics is incredibly difficult. Newspaper is amazing. Quite fun. A lot of interesting work ... love writing. English will be interesting. World History is amazing. I love that class. Band is not too bad; the director has let up on me a lot. However, the band as a whole is doing a lot worse than last year. 'Tis a shame. Psychology is very interesting ... very enjoyable.

Wow, that was boring. =p Now would you prefer that I write about my amante or about my school?? ^^

I promise that I meant to write here last night. ^^

Things are -definately- starting to come together for when I go up to Indiana. We've set the date as September 13th. I'll arrive late on the 12th and have to leave on the 14th. We'll be walking around the mall, playing putt-putt ... and perhaps going to a movie or visiting a museum or visiting the zoo. So anyway, I'm about ready to jump outta my skin in excitement. ^^

And her mom said I'm a really nice kid. O.o

So anyway, I'm sitting here listening to the Eagles, and doing my very bestest not to panic. ^^ The good news is that the Eagles sang a lot of songs like "Take it Easy" and "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" ... so I've got something to soothe my nervousness. But alas, 'tis time for bed. Got homework and stuff to do this weekend, as well as finish hashing out my plans for Indy-state.

Man, I am walking on clouds!!

Last night, a person who has been mentioned in this blog at least a half a dozen times told me that her mom would definately allow us to get together when I go up to Indiana next month. So we're hashing together all sorts of plans that we could do together. It's SO much fun!! I think it's been a long, long time since I've ever been so happy. ^^

All in all, a good day. As you can guess, my mind has been wandering a LOT today. Even more so than usual. And even more directed to a female than usual.

I think I'm coming a bit more to grips with this whole situation I've gotten myself thrusted into. It's very interesting, a little more than slightly odd ... but it's okay. I can cope with that.

I gotta focus more on my studies. ^^

... on that note, tchao for now!!

The good thing about having a blog is that you can unload all your annoying little feelings in one fell blow and publicize it to the world with very little chance of anyone actually ever reading it; minus, of course, one person. Which really isn't that bad, because only good has come from this one person reading stuff that was freely displayed and yet they were never supposed to actually read. So far. ^^

And, while we're on the topic of this one person ... boy, can this person make you feel better. I talked with her for just a few minutes and wow, it feels like a weight's lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much better about -everything- after talking to her ... it's ... incredible, in a way.

Kinda disturbing in another. ^^

Today, for an odd reason, is a lot better than yesterday. I'm not sure why. Today's weather and general atmosphere would've been more conducive to that whole massive depression-type thing goin' on yesterday ... but it didn't really fit! Oh well!!

It rained a lot today. A -LOT-. I was driving home from school with my windshield wipers going full blast and I could barely see ten feet in front of me. The traffic lights weren't working. I was one of the last cars to make it under the highway before the bridge-thing flooded out. I was about five feet behind the car in front of me, who was about five feet behind the car in front of him, who was about five feet behind the car in front of him ... all because we couldn't see the road in the midst of this typhoon they call "some rain." We were driving 10 mph down Valley Creek Trail! Kinda crazy. The power was out for almost two hours at my house, judging as best as I can from my own meager time-management skillz.

Kinda fun, really. >D

I didn't mention it yet, but I got my Eagle Scout ring. ^^ It's really cool ... I now have my class ring on my right hand and my Eagle Scout ring on my left. ^^ The theory is that the right hand represents my current school, and my left hand will represent my greatest accomplishment to date. ^^ Therefore, college ring goes on right and wedding ring goes on left. Theoretically, of course. I have to overcome some various problems and obstacles before I can get either one of the replacements.

Oh! And this certain person I mentioned earlier seems to think that it's really sexy when I do this "Rawr!" growling thing like Tigger. [shrug] I dunno ... I think she's crazy. But, then again ... I always thought she was crazy!! ^^

So there we have it ... today's not much different than yesterday, but I feel so much better. Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. Or maybe I just feel better from talking to that certain person for a couple of hours! [shrug] Or perhaps I'm just crazy. I think it's a combination of the last two.

Yay. -.- Look at me. I'm updating like I said I would.

And I'm in a -really- bad mood. I got my AP scores back (and had no idea that they had been found). I got a 2 on the US History and a 3 on the English. Which is, to say the least, slightly depressing. I did, after all, score a 3 on the US History and a 5 on the English practice exams.

Life can be so revolting sometimes!

And my loverly band director, Mr. StuFlo, that idiot, starts chewing me out because I "can't play this piece!" ... while, however, I actually -can- play it; and just fine at that. He shouts at the trumpet section as if we're blithering idiots, and it just angers me oh-so-much. "Andrew! You've been with Jeremy a long time!! Why do you let him show you up so bad!?" Well, you fat stupid Mexican, if you wanted to know -why- it is that he "shows me up," it's because YOU continually screw me over. After all, -I- was ahead of him our entire freshman year! But, since you and Mr. Weisberg have taken an inherent dislike to me, you continually thrust ME on the parts that contain "whole nooote ... whole nooote ... whole nooote ... " whereas HE gets the sixteenth-note runs and chromatic scale works. If you would fricking give me something worth PLAYING, then I might actually improve, rather than get worse. So, Mr. I'm-So-High-And-Mighty, shove that stupid drum stick up your own butt and don't remove it until you feel like not being such a bloody fool.

So now I'm going to sit in my room and listen to sad music until a certain someone comes online. Hopefully she can cheer me up.

I've sworn to do better about updating this thing.

Or, if not sworn, privately hope. ^^

So, my school schedule is partially fixed in a maybe possibly kinda way that really leaves everything open in the air. I'm trying to weasel my way into Statistics and European History and ... I don't know. But the good news is I've made some headway.

Speaking of headway, none was made on AP, so far. So that's still bothering me, to say the least.

No time to play EQ or talk to my friends on it as of late, which kinda brings me down. They're good friends, y'know? Oh, well. I suppose I can tough it out for a few more days.

And you guessed it: Update with Andrew on his crush'n stuff ... That's turning out to actually be, erm ... really interesting. ^^ We're both new to this stuff and, well ... confused! It seems we're falling farther and farther for each other. Not sure if that's good or bad, as I've said before. Life isn't a Meg Ryan movie, there's no "secret love" on the internet that's gonna pop up and be true romance or something like that ... ... is there? Before, I was so certain. Now I'm not.

My best friend Caleb got a girlfriend a few months before the school year ended. He's become hopelessly entangled; or, as a Olivia Newton John song put it "Hopelessly Devoted." He pops up on her doorstep just to give her flowers or something. He's almost completely dropped his friends ... I'm one of the few that have managed to keep up with him. I couldn't believe he could just ... almost abandon his friends in such a manner. Now I can almost see myself doing this; and I value my friends more than my own life. It's rather ... confusing, such thoughts, you know?

I get this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach of millions of butterflies, flying up, almost popping out into my mouth there's so many. It's a feeling that I both love dearly and ... ... can't stand. I don't know if there's a better way to put it. I wish I were behaving like my normal self and not have such a funny feeling going on. Like a light, enjoyable queasiness, if such a thing makes sense. That's the best I can describe it ... a queasy feeling in my stomach that just seems so ... ... pleasurable.

So I'm going to go rumenate now!

Wow, and I felt guilty for not updating this in ten days. Ha, now it's been ... [quickly counts on fingers] A lot. Like almost two months.

So, what's happened? Hella lot. School starts tomorrow. I'm a senior. Good thing? I hope so. Guaranteed? Definately not.

The Advanced Placement people LOST my scores! So I'm royally ticked off. They managed to find my US History score and have sent it in the mail, so hopefully it'll arrive soon. However, they can't find my English score at all, and it's really ticking me off. I was hoping for a 5 on that, and thought I actually stood a chance at it. Then, suddenly, THEY LOST IT. And that really bothers me, especially since one of my best friends was the ONLY PERSON in my school to get a five on the English 3 exam. Me getting a five on this would -definately- boost my self-confidence, and thus I'd really rather prefer to have the score found.

Further note: my school schedule has been royally screwed up. This also ticks me off. I mean, senior year! Things are supposed to go -my- way, not the way of Random Joe the Officerworker! So I'm trying to knock heads together and get stuff to work. But it doesn't seem to be happening. I'll keep you guys updated (hopefull). ^^

Uh ... let's see ... EQ is goin' good. I think I mentioned in June that I switched into a new guild, but not sure. Anyway, the guild is really taking shape. I'm one of the founding members, and a well-respected one, too. I know the game inside and out and can make good strog calls that're definately going to come true, so I've been called on for some help. Unfortunately, I'm really poor in-game so, due to my budget, my armor and weapons aren't very good and cut into my ability to actually perform well in battle. But I can make proper calls and the like easily.

And this is weighing a little heavy on me at the moment, so ... I'll say it here. The girl I happened to mention on my June 10th update read this blogger. And I thought no one did that. So this is ... interesting ... 'cuz she found out I have a crush on her. And she also says "you were right to think I have a crush on you." So I'm in completely unchartered territory. I'm not sure if I should be mapping terrain, befriending the tigers, or running from them. I'm rather ... er ... in a quandry. ^^

Anyways ... that's good enough for now. I'm exhausted and feeling rather ... tired. Go figure. So I'm just gonna post this and precede to feel bad about not updating it for two months. ^^

Ten days have passed!! I feel so guilty for not updating!!

Like I said on my webpage, a lot of stuff has come up. I find myself rushing to get as much EverQuestin' in as I can before I leave in July. I'm writing letters to that certain friend in Spain, which probably isn't too wonderful for me, for the reason listed in my last blog. I've been trying to write and build up what little skill I have in that. I've been saying goodbye to my sister, because we will see each other for about five days this summer, starting two days ago. I've been doing a lot of tearful parting with some senior friends of mine ... people that I'm going to miss so badly it hurts during my next school year. I've been working on my drawing in the hopes that, if I get good enough, I can start a little webcomic of my own. And I've also been doing my fair share of sitting around doing nothing. It feels like, after the past school year, I could really use some sitting-around-time.

So that's where things stand on my point of view.

I need to ready myself for July ... July 1st through 8th, I am in Anaheim, California, for the Anime Expo 2003 convention. Immediately after I get back, I'm rushed to the Newspaper Camp for newspaper class at school. After that, I have a single day off, before I'm bustled across the state to Boy Scout summer camp. I should get back from this on the 19th or so ... I'm not exactly sure. Anyway, that's the plan! Here's hopin' it pulls through.

There's something to be said for life ... though I personally have no idea what it is.

Hmm, well ... school's out. I woulda thought I would have felt a lot better. But I don't. There's reasons for that, mostly because of my sister and myself, but still. I'm kinda disappointed.

The disappointment also has something to do with a certain friend going to Spain for the summer. Gone for seven weeks, no less. I won't get to see her until I've only got about ... three weeks of summer left. And two weeks of that is marching season, of course. I'm not really sure if this is some kind of blessing from God or some kind of curse ... because I think I was beginning to develop a crush on her. I only know her online, and I -really- despise those "online romances" that seem to be running rampant these days. So I'm not sure if this is good or bad. The even more confusing thing is that, well, I think she might've returned it or whatnot ... and those readers out there who know me actually know that this in itself would have been a miracle.

I'm gonna try to go get a job tomorrow, so let's hope that pans out well. I'll tell you guys how I feel after the application tomorrow.

My sister leaves to go to Europe on about a week. She's visiting a half-dozen countries in a month. Lucky son of a ...

So that's where life stands. School's out, but I don't feel much better. A girl I could actually consider going out with is leaving me for two months. Even my sister gets to visit foreign countries over summer. And I don't even have a job.

So, on what's said about life ... I think it's this: Life screws you, but you love it anyway.

Hey guys! There's more readers out there these days ... now that I've shamelessly plugged my website on my AIM info. ^^

Bye seniors. [cries] I missed you at school today.

On further note, I went camera-crazy today!! Got tons of pictures of my friends at school and stuff!! I love cameras!! I'm trying to get a digital camera to take on things like Anime Expo, Gloria Shields Newspaper Camp, and Boy Scout camp. Either way, it was really fun getting some of those pictures. Like Allison and Lauryn. ^^ And, of course, Olga trying to hide behind people in the group picture. Always fun!

Um, I'm really confused today, random readers. >< Someone said I was hot. x.x The exact quote was "you look hot in that pic." Kinda weirdin' me out. I mean, no one says that stuff about me. It's really confusing to have someone say that to you after seventeen years of being dateless. 'cuz it's apparently not true, but then they sound sincere about it ... kinda funky. I think I'm just going to write it off to either temporary insanity or heat fatigue, and then just keep it remembered in one of those little private places deep in the recesses of my mind. ^^

Thank you God. >< Only four more school days left, and one of 'em is a half-day.

Alright, that's it! MATRIX RELOADED ROCKED!!

I honestly have no idea what the frick everybody's whining about!? >< I loved both The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded! Each had their own pluses and minuses ... the best way to describe it, though is this: The Matrix was chocked full of ground-breaking new concepts. The Matrix Reloaded actually brought those to fruition. I felt, as I watched Reloaded, that I was finally seeing what those little thoughts and ideas were actually capable of.

Enough about movies. ^^ I'm soooo gonna miss my uber-cool senior friends! >< [cries] Guys, I love ya! I realize that, well, I've been known to be a little off-the-wall, and sometimes I can appear a bit moody. And more often than not, I'm rather annoyin' ... but I love ya. >< I'll miss Phildo's insane violence, Cody's random moods, Thomas' constant attacking of the girls [koffkoff], shoving Niki every time I see her, M.S. trying to act cool (and failing ^^), Matt's attempts at being aloof, Tyler's whimsical-ness whenever he bothers to show up ... I could go on and on. >< Man, I hate to see ya go, guys!

It'll be a fun summer, I think. I'm ready for school to end.

Yum.

Good fun last night! A nice farewell to some very good friends. I'll miss those guys so hard.

I get to see Matrix Reloaded tomorrow!! HOORAH!!!

My website has been revived. It's good fun. Be expecting some fun and cool stuff on it! I'll be putting up a couple of pieces of writing and stuff, posting random pictures, and improving the quotations part.

On another note, I took a web personality quiz and found out I'm the perfect girlfriend.

... [sweatdrop] I'm not sure how to take that.

Anyway, I'm in a fairly good mood but wish I could be talking to a couple of people right now, but can't. Um, that's all! ^^

Wow, it's only been three days! ^^

Anyway, today is the day of Band Banquet. Over here in Texas, we have "banquets" for all the clubs at the end of the year. Basically, we sit down, we eat a nice meal, and then we hang out with old buddies one last time before summer kicks in and stuff.

It's a formal event ... hence "banquet" rather than "Barbeque!"

Anyway ... I'm tired and kinda depressed. No date for band banquet this year, which brings the grand total up to three. All my friends have one, though. Plus I'm sick. Which never really makes anyone happy, y'know? And then I was waiting for a phone call from a good friend of mine so she could cheer me up before I went to the band banquet, and I missed it because I was laying in bed, being sick. >< Blast and condemnation.

Well, tonight should be really fun, if I can get over this initial depression. It always is. I'll be sure to get pictures of my friends and stuff and put them up on my website once it gets revived.

It sucked.

Yeah, cousin's wedding sucked. Pretty danged badly. I mean, Prom is the first chance in my LIFE in which I had the possibility of getting a girlfriend. But that chanced get dashed against the rocks ... again and again and again. And instead, I have to sit there and watch two people pledge eternal love to each other rather than be off enjoying my adolescence and experiencing love for the first time myself.

Not that I am bitter.

However, I did have some fun over the past ... week or so. I did some exciting writing on Sandra's website ( http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/blubophobic/ ) ... so let's see if you non-existant readers can figure out which ones are mine. ^^ That was really fun stuff to write.

Speaking of writing ... I'm required to send some of my writing to a publisher or something of that sort for English class. I'm sending my short story "Simple Dreamer" to a contest. Hopefully I'll get $250 if I win! But I doubt I will ...

Congratulations and felicitations goes out to Erika, Kyle, and Tyra who all got Drum Major. [applause] Good job; I had you three nailed for the position after watching you for an hour and a half. ^^

We'll find out what the band placement is sometime next week ... Hopefully.

On the subject of hope, I'm really hoping to get my website back up soon. [crosses fingers] I'm afraid I might have to switch to a paysite for a host, and that means it'll have to wait until I get a job. But I'll need a job anyway, because I need money for AX.

As a final note, which ties in with the first, I've given up on love. All it ever does is kick you in the teeth. I've spent the last ... oh, six or so years of my life harboring one crush after another on girls, asked several of them out, and only recieved rejection. It's really ... depressing. So I've decided that I won't go in search of love. If Love wants to find me, she can fichin' come to me herself. I'm tired of looking for her. I refuse to ask out girls now. Condemnation, if a girl wants to go out with me, she can ask me instead of vice versa.

On that note ... bye. ^^

Alright ... my teeth feel -weird-. REALLY -weird-.

Slimey, naked, and ... un-protruding. So this is what it's like to have normal teeth ... O.o Interesting experience. Kinda depressed about it, though. Unfortunately, losing my braces didn't make me the babe-magnet it does everyone else. [sweatdrop] So far, I've gotten two compliments (well, three, but one was from a guy I'm pretty sure swings both ways. -.-) ... and one friend's reaction was "Oh! You got your braces off! I hate you!" Ah, well ... c'est la vie.

So I'm going to my cousin's wedding instead of Prom. Boooring, I bet. And all because I can't find someone who'd wanna go with me. Oh well, it only goes to qualify the earlier statement about not being a babe-magnet. Sorry about bringing this up again ... but I'm brooding over my lack of Prom. And I probably won't go next year because I don't have too many friends my age; all of them are graduating this year.

Drum Major tryouts were interesting. I think I flunked, but I just hope my score was good enough to impress Weisberg into not underestimating anyone. But I doubt that could ever happen.

My auditions for band placement went better than that, though. I think I did fairly well. Upper Symphonic Band or, should Weisberg decide to let bygones be bygones, possibly even Wind Ensemble. But that's pushing it. Oh well, it'll be interesting.

I'm thinking about applying for a job at Tom Thumb ...

Wow! Been a good two weeks, I suppose.

Got my SAT scores back. Not sure when exactly it was, but I'm still ridin' high. [got a 1360!] Yeah!! ... but the problem is, now I have no colleges to go to. >< My SAT scores are pretty good, which means that I, well ... should go to a pretty good school. But I have really bad grades. Therefore, I should go to a bad school. There's no school that actually matches my performances. Blast and condemnation.

On further notes, we had AP tests last week. Out of a range of 1-5, with three being passing for most colleges, I estimate I got a 5 on the English exam and a 3 on the U.S. History exam. [crosses fingers] Here's hopin'. I'll be sure to say what I got when I get the scores back in mid-July.

Tomorrow's a big day. For band, that is. It's the day of Drum Major auditions, which I'm participating in. I'm thinking that Erika and Kyle get it ... with Tyra as third. That leaves Nicole and I to battle out for fourth place. But the director will probably only want three, if that. Also, I will be auditioning for ban placement tomorrow. I play trumpet, you know. There'll be three bands at school next year: Wind Ensemble is the best, and then Symphonic Band and, following that, Concert band. I'm betting I make Symphonic. I think I have the skill to edge into Wind Ensemble, but ... the director and I are at odds. We don't like each other much.

Also, I get my braces off tomorrow!! Yay!! ^^

And update on my Prom situation: I'm not going. Instead, I shall be at my cousin's wedding. Honestly, I'd choose Prom over wedding any day, but ... without a date and without my parents being in town ... I have no choice in the matter. I'll miss you, my senior friends. Be sure to have a dance for me ... I think you guys can guess what I mean. ;)

I need to resurrect my website. Been working on appropriating funds for that. But, alas, I am poor. This is why I am trying to get a job ... and so I can have some money to blow at AX03! Heheh.

Tchao, all you non-existant readers!!

Merry Easter!!

My friend Caleb and I are planning to make a webcomic ... him being the muscles and I being the brains, and him being the brains to. So basically, him making a webcomic and me giving the occasional suggestion. But anyway, today we had a plot-hashing session ... where we just chewed over all these potential ideas for the plot of the thing. Good fun!

And I'm feeling good today, albeit tired, which is a rarity.

And I like RPGs. ^^

And I started writing a story! It's entitled "The Preceding Ode" and, well ... it'll be interesting. It should work on my un-1337 action-writing skillz. It's only in the primary drafts right now, but it should be improving and taking shape soon. Right now it's all foreshadow-y and hinting and stuff ... and setting up plot devices and neat little writer-tools.

Boy, did I just make it sound like writing is complicated or what? >< I suppose it's an attempt at glorifying one of the few things I'm halfway-decent at ...

I suppose this where I write something deeply religious and moving ... which really isn't my style, since I'm a big lazy bum. So I'll give it a shot anyway: I'm glad Easter came about. I know that if Jesus didn't die for my sins, then I'd suffer eternal condemnation, because, let's face it, I'm a morally weak person who doesn't have the guts to stand by his principles to the death. So I'm absolutely overjoyed that someone was willing to die for me. I know I couldn't do it. Here's to you, Christ Jesus!

Anyway, Merry Easter! I hope everyone who reads this got lots of candy or money or whatever it is you people get on this day!

For the first time in weeks, I was struck by a certain thought ...

"Boy, it's good to be alive."

Not that you guys (all none of you) should worry about me. I'm just satisfied with my indifference towards everything. But then today, as I was walking out of school (to detention, no less), I was just ... slapped upside the head by that thought. And I liked it.

Oh, on further note ... my friend Allison told me that I should get a date to Prom. I said that I didn't really know anyone, and she said something along the lines of "There's four sitting right behind you." Then she requested I name a reason why I wasn't going to Prom. I told her that I didn't want to go stag, I knew of no one who would go with me that I'd be comfortable with, that I was poor, and that my cousin was being married the same day, so I might as well go to that instead.

And she responded with something to the effect of "It annoys me when people feel sorry for themselves. Self-pity is disgusting." To which I replied that I don't feel sorry for myself, that I am perfectly indifferent to it, and that, in a strange way, I was satisfied with my indifference. That probably could have gotten a girlfriend if I changed myself in certain ways, but I don't think that I should do such a thing for such a reason. And she said that was even worse.

So I shrugged and walked off back to my RPG. ^^

And I still need to write something to get those creative juices flowing. I think I said it best yesterday when I said I feel "bottled up." I really do feel like that ... all this stuff stuck inside that's trying and trying to get out, but it can't because the exit is clogged.

Ew, that sounded gross. >)

Boy, am I tired.

I had a math test today. I'm exhausted. Both physically and spiritually. Is there such a thing as over-prayer?

I hope not.

I really need to write more. I'm feeling bottled up. I need some kind of written creative release. But the hardest thing about the whole concept is getting started. I -hate- getting started. But I'll need to. I'd ask for suggestions, but nobody reads this anyway.

... oh, yesterday was Tax Day.

Warg ... Sorry guys, but I've been depressed as of late. Mostly it revolves around my Prom date-- or lack thereof. Yes, it seems that even I, the Master of Wit and Wisdom, the Seer of Inane Sayings and Insanity, cannot get a date.

So I'm depressed.

And this is only compounded on the fact that, hey, I've been dateless my entire life. So now I'm sitting here at my computer, getting my daily dosage of radiation, and plotting against the world.

Just like the old days.

Not that there were any new ones. Anyway, my friend Caleb (who is, naturally, able to get any girl he wants just by saying "Yo, babe!") would help me out by seeing if there were any girls who would consider an atrocity as despicable as going to Prom with me.

I think I might try that "Yo, babe!" thing. It seems to work for him.

So in the meantime, I'm running around the school like Marvin the Manic-Depressive Robot, hoping that someone won't find it beneath their dignity to go out with me. You wouldn't think it would be quite as atrocious as it seems, since I have so many friends. But, alas and a lack, I can't get a girlfriend. And I would consider asking someone to go just as a friend, but all the girls I'd ask to go like that already have -real- dates.

So I'm screwed again.

And then we get onto the subject of Precal. I -suck- at Precal. And I have no idea how I'm going to manage that class. But if I actually apply myself properly, I might be able to squeeze through. Which reminds me, I gotta go study some now ...

So today's Wednesday. Yep, Hump Day. So called because it humps, I think.

Either way, I'm trying to convince my friend Caleb to do an online comic. If he does, it'd be hosted at my website, and it would SOOOOO rock! He's an awesome artist, and a fairly good story-teller. I'd help him get started with the plot, and then he'd have the 1337 skillz to just go -crazy- with it. Gotta love that.

I am so tired right now. But I finally feel able to express some artistic angst through this RPG I'm doing. It's really fun, but it's a private thing, so I can't tell you guys where it is.

Good news, as well: AT&T was bought out by Comcast, and Comcast isn't blocking my friend's website anymore. And since they aren't blocking his, mine is up and running again, too! Yay!! [wavies flag] This is good news because now I can actually update my site again and ... express more artistic angst.

Or some political statement like that.

Also ... today they tore down the Saddam Hussein statue in Baghdad. Good news, I think. But a precursor to some potential bad news ... this war is winding up, the UN will be taking over soon ... and then I predict we have a couple-month-to-couple-year break, and then war with North Korea. And that means that I'll probably get drafted ...

Oh well. Happiness for now! I'm trying to be more chipper.

Just made this blog. Woo-hoo!

Anyway ... been a stressfull past couple of days. Lots of work to do because of my Eagle Scout project. I run around rampant before I finally have the Board of Review on Wednesday ... only I don't, because I thought the coordinator was supposed to bring some paperwork, but it turns out -I- was supposed to. And, needless to say, I didn't. So I had it rescheduled for Friday; that is, tomorrow. Which means yesterday and today I am running around rampant again, attempting to get all the proper signatures and endorsements and dates to put on this confounded sheet of paper. And with any luck, I'll get it all done.

On further note, today is my sister's birthday.