Mood: Like, totally exhausted

I've had a busy ... y'know, month. Life. Something like that.

I'm really not sure what kind of footing I'm on at all with Amber. That makes things really awkward. You love a girl, you want to hold her, you want to kiss her. She wants the same things back. And you both know it. But ... you really can't. Very awkward.

I went skiing today. With my family. My mom and sister have never gone skiing before, so a lot of the day consisted of my father and myself teaching those two how to do some stuff. Like turning. And stopping. It's really interesting to try to sit down and explain how to do stuff when you haven't had to really think about the basics in literally years. Sets you a-thinkin'. Either way, my sister was really catching on there at the end, so that's good news. I'll be going back tomorrow for more. I skiied the only double black they have in the park, and I took my dad on one of the blacks. He's never gone down a black before, and he said he isn't likely to do it again. Oh well ... at least he can say he did it once, eh?

Lately, I've really been on a binge for self-improvement. I'm trying to focus on faults I've identified within myself and tried to polish them out. I seriously need to get some heavy rough sandpaper for this job, though. The most glaring problems are usually the most observable and the first to get rid of. And, naturally, they're also the hardest to get out. It will be a long, tough road. Likely, I'll give up on several, thinking that it's impossible. But the important thing is ... nothing is impossible. As long as you set your mind to it, and keep working, you can achieve anything. I need to retain my focus. I need to better myself.

And I will.

"I know one thing: the line between good and evil is supposed to be clear and easy to see. But it's not." - Robin ~ Teen Titans

Mood: What's the point behind anything?

I keep trying, but I make no headway. In school, in life, in friendship, in romance, in everything I do, things just get worse and worse the more I try to make it better.

Why should I bother trying anymore? My body hurts, my emotions hurt, my brain hurts. Nothing goes right. I'm giving up.

Someone hit my car today. Over $1000 of damage. Cops refuse to do anything, the person who hit it left no insurance, and we can't afford to pay for the fix. So now I'm stuck with a broken car.

My best friend is having some pretty severe problems with depression. He is doing horrible in school because of his depression, and then his new meds to help his depression is ruining his concentration, so he's still doing bad it school. I'm trying to help him get better, but not really getting anywhere.

Hey! Best news of the day! My girlfriend broke up with me. Woo! She screws me over emotionally on my birthday, screws me over on Christmas ... woo, I'm so excited.

I wish I could die, really. But I know I'd just screw that up, too.

"You win again, gravity!" - Zapp Brannigan ~ Futurama

Mood: Home free!

I am back in McKinney. I'm sorry for being such a heel and not updating this blog at all this month, but I've just been busy. I never really studied at all in high school, but I've literally had my nose in a book 24/7 for exam week. I think I've gone insane, really.

So don't worry. I'm not drifting off into disrepair or whatever. I am back, and I am updating this, and I am whatever whatever.

Hey! Christmas is in one week! Who hasn't done any shopping yet besides me?!

Oh, darn. Just me, huh? Man. I'm totally screwed. This is what happens when you start college. You have no time to do anything else that the world expects of you, like buying Christmas presents or wishing people happy birthday or respirating.

Just so darn busy!

Anyway, this was basically just to say "Yes, I'm still alive. Sorry, for all of those who were hoping I was dead."

"For your thoughts, I will pay six grubthars." - Starfire ~ Teen Titans

Mood: Study Study Study!

Sorry I've been out of it recently. I've been a little bit cramped for finals. And when I wasn't doing that, I was hanging out with my friends, avoiding anything that could remotely be construed as work.

I took my first final yesterday. I officially have an 88 in History 105. Of course, I'm doing an optional essay which could grant me up to five bonus points tacked onto my total grade. So I could get up to a 93, which would keep me nicely inside the "A" category. Yay 4.0! Of course, all I officially need to get an A is 2 points on the essay. I think I can manage that.

I have another exam on Friday for Psychology, and then a math final on Tuesday and my Biology final a week from today. I just took my final math computer quiz a few minutes ago. Things are finally wrapping to a close, eh? I now have three grades outstanding, and then the semester will be officially closed.

I can't wait to go skiing for Christmas! I love skiing so much, you all have no idea. My only regret is that I don't have anyone who will go on Blacks and Double-Blacks with me. They're so much fun, but my sister and mother have never skied before, and my dad's knees are too bad to tackle anything more difficult than blues.

... I must coerce one of them in accompanying me ...

Anyway, time to go back to studying! Yay Finals! I love them so much!

"I dare you to make less sense!" - Dean Venture ~ Venture Bros.