Ten days have passed!! I feel so guilty for not updating!!

Like I said on my webpage, a lot of stuff has come up. I find myself rushing to get as much EverQuestin' in as I can before I leave in July. I'm writing letters to that certain friend in Spain, which probably isn't too wonderful for me, for the reason listed in my last blog. I've been trying to write and build up what little skill I have in that. I've been saying goodbye to my sister, because we will see each other for about five days this summer, starting two days ago. I've been doing a lot of tearful parting with some senior friends of mine ... people that I'm going to miss so badly it hurts during my next school year. I've been working on my drawing in the hopes that, if I get good enough, I can start a little webcomic of my own. And I've also been doing my fair share of sitting around doing nothing. It feels like, after the past school year, I could really use some sitting-around-time.

So that's where things stand on my point of view.

I need to ready myself for July ... July 1st through 8th, I am in Anaheim, California, for the Anime Expo 2003 convention. Immediately after I get back, I'm rushed to the Newspaper Camp for newspaper class at school. After that, I have a single day off, before I'm bustled across the state to Boy Scout summer camp. I should get back from this on the 19th or so ... I'm not exactly sure. Anyway, that's the plan! Here's hopin' it pulls through.

There's something to be said for life ... though I personally have no idea what it is.

Hmm, well ... school's out. I woulda thought I would have felt a lot better. But I don't. There's reasons for that, mostly because of my sister and myself, but still. I'm kinda disappointed.

The disappointment also has something to do with a certain friend going to Spain for the summer. Gone for seven weeks, no less. I won't get to see her until I've only got about ... three weeks of summer left. And two weeks of that is marching season, of course. I'm not really sure if this is some kind of blessing from God or some kind of curse ... because I think I was beginning to develop a crush on her. I only know her online, and I -really- despise those "online romances" that seem to be running rampant these days. So I'm not sure if this is good or bad. The even more confusing thing is that, well, I think she might've returned it or whatnot ... and those readers out there who know me actually know that this in itself would have been a miracle.

I'm gonna try to go get a job tomorrow, so let's hope that pans out well. I'll tell you guys how I feel after the application tomorrow.

My sister leaves to go to Europe on about a week. She's visiting a half-dozen countries in a month. Lucky son of a ...

So that's where life stands. School's out, but I don't feel much better. A girl I could actually consider going out with is leaving me for two months. Even my sister gets to visit foreign countries over summer. And I don't even have a job.

So, on what's said about life ... I think it's this: Life screws you, but you love it anyway.

Hey guys! There's more readers out there these days ... now that I've shamelessly plugged my website on my AIM info. ^^

Bye seniors. [cries] I missed you at school today.

On further note, I went camera-crazy today!! Got tons of pictures of my friends at school and stuff!! I love cameras!! I'm trying to get a digital camera to take on things like Anime Expo, Gloria Shields Newspaper Camp, and Boy Scout camp. Either way, it was really fun getting some of those pictures. Like Allison and Lauryn. ^^ And, of course, Olga trying to hide behind people in the group picture. Always fun!

Um, I'm really confused today, random readers. >< Someone said I was hot. x.x The exact quote was "you look hot in that pic." Kinda weirdin' me out. I mean, no one says that stuff about me. It's really confusing to have someone say that to you after seventeen years of being dateless. 'cuz it's apparently not true, but then they sound sincere about it ... kinda funky. I think I'm just going to write it off to either temporary insanity or heat fatigue, and then just keep it remembered in one of those little private places deep in the recesses of my mind. ^^

Thank you God. >< Only four more school days left, and one of 'em is a half-day.

Alright, that's it! MATRIX RELOADED ROCKED!!

I honestly have no idea what the frick everybody's whining about!? >< I loved both The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded! Each had their own pluses and minuses ... the best way to describe it, though is this: The Matrix was chocked full of ground-breaking new concepts. The Matrix Reloaded actually brought those to fruition. I felt, as I watched Reloaded, that I was finally seeing what those little thoughts and ideas were actually capable of.

Enough about movies. ^^ I'm soooo gonna miss my uber-cool senior friends! >< [cries] Guys, I love ya! I realize that, well, I've been known to be a little off-the-wall, and sometimes I can appear a bit moody. And more often than not, I'm rather annoyin' ... but I love ya. >< I'll miss Phildo's insane violence, Cody's random moods, Thomas' constant attacking of the girls [koffkoff], shoving Niki every time I see her, M.S. trying to act cool (and failing ^^), Matt's attempts at being aloof, Tyler's whimsical-ness whenever he bothers to show up ... I could go on and on. >< Man, I hate to see ya go, guys!

It'll be a fun summer, I think. I'm ready for school to end.

Yum.

Good fun last night! A nice farewell to some very good friends. I'll miss those guys so hard.

I get to see Matrix Reloaded tomorrow!! HOORAH!!!

My website has been revived. It's good fun. Be expecting some fun and cool stuff on it! I'll be putting up a couple of pieces of writing and stuff, posting random pictures, and improving the quotations part.

On another note, I took a web personality quiz and found out I'm the perfect girlfriend.

... [sweatdrop] I'm not sure how to take that.

Anyway, I'm in a fairly good mood but wish I could be talking to a couple of people right now, but can't. Um, that's all! ^^

Wow, it's only been three days! ^^

Anyway, today is the day of Band Banquet. Over here in Texas, we have "banquets" for all the clubs at the end of the year. Basically, we sit down, we eat a nice meal, and then we hang out with old buddies one last time before summer kicks in and stuff.

It's a formal event ... hence "banquet" rather than "Barbeque!"

Anyway ... I'm tired and kinda depressed. No date for band banquet this year, which brings the grand total up to three. All my friends have one, though. Plus I'm sick. Which never really makes anyone happy, y'know? And then I was waiting for a phone call from a good friend of mine so she could cheer me up before I went to the band banquet, and I missed it because I was laying in bed, being sick. >< Blast and condemnation.

Well, tonight should be really fun, if I can get over this initial depression. It always is. I'll be sure to get pictures of my friends and stuff and put them up on my website once it gets revived.

It sucked.

Yeah, cousin's wedding sucked. Pretty danged badly. I mean, Prom is the first chance in my LIFE in which I had the possibility of getting a girlfriend. But that chanced get dashed against the rocks ... again and again and again. And instead, I have to sit there and watch two people pledge eternal love to each other rather than be off enjoying my adolescence and experiencing love for the first time myself.

Not that I am bitter.

However, I did have some fun over the past ... week or so. I did some exciting writing on Sandra's website ( http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/blubophobic/ ) ... so let's see if you non-existant readers can figure out which ones are mine. ^^ That was really fun stuff to write.

Speaking of writing ... I'm required to send some of my writing to a publisher or something of that sort for English class. I'm sending my short story "Simple Dreamer" to a contest. Hopefully I'll get $250 if I win! But I doubt I will ...

Congratulations and felicitations goes out to Erika, Kyle, and Tyra who all got Drum Major. [applause] Good job; I had you three nailed for the position after watching you for an hour and a half. ^^

We'll find out what the band placement is sometime next week ... Hopefully.

On the subject of hope, I'm really hoping to get my website back up soon. [crosses fingers] I'm afraid I might have to switch to a paysite for a host, and that means it'll have to wait until I get a job. But I'll need a job anyway, because I need money for AX.

As a final note, which ties in with the first, I've given up on love. All it ever does is kick you in the teeth. I've spent the last ... oh, six or so years of my life harboring one crush after another on girls, asked several of them out, and only recieved rejection. It's really ... depressing. So I've decided that I won't go in search of love. If Love wants to find me, she can fichin' come to me herself. I'm tired of looking for her. I refuse to ask out girls now. Condemnation, if a girl wants to go out with me, she can ask me instead of vice versa.

On that note ... bye. ^^

Alright ... my teeth feel -weird-. REALLY -weird-.

Slimey, naked, and ... un-protruding. So this is what it's like to have normal teeth ... O.o Interesting experience. Kinda depressed about it, though. Unfortunately, losing my braces didn't make me the babe-magnet it does everyone else. [sweatdrop] So far, I've gotten two compliments (well, three, but one was from a guy I'm pretty sure swings both ways. -.-) ... and one friend's reaction was "Oh! You got your braces off! I hate you!" Ah, well ... c'est la vie.

So I'm going to my cousin's wedding instead of Prom. Boooring, I bet. And all because I can't find someone who'd wanna go with me. Oh well, it only goes to qualify the earlier statement about not being a babe-magnet. Sorry about bringing this up again ... but I'm brooding over my lack of Prom. And I probably won't go next year because I don't have too many friends my age; all of them are graduating this year.

Drum Major tryouts were interesting. I think I flunked, but I just hope my score was good enough to impress Weisberg into not underestimating anyone. But I doubt that could ever happen.

My auditions for band placement went better than that, though. I think I did fairly well. Upper Symphonic Band or, should Weisberg decide to let bygones be bygones, possibly even Wind Ensemble. But that's pushing it. Oh well, it'll be interesting.

I'm thinking about applying for a job at Tom Thumb ...

Wow! Been a good two weeks, I suppose.

Got my SAT scores back. Not sure when exactly it was, but I'm still ridin' high. [got a 1360!] Yeah!! ... but the problem is, now I have no colleges to go to. >< My SAT scores are pretty good, which means that I, well ... should go to a pretty good school. But I have really bad grades. Therefore, I should go to a bad school. There's no school that actually matches my performances. Blast and condemnation.

On further notes, we had AP tests last week. Out of a range of 1-5, with three being passing for most colleges, I estimate I got a 5 on the English exam and a 3 on the U.S. History exam. [crosses fingers] Here's hopin'. I'll be sure to say what I got when I get the scores back in mid-July.

Tomorrow's a big day. For band, that is. It's the day of Drum Major auditions, which I'm participating in. I'm thinking that Erika and Kyle get it ... with Tyra as third. That leaves Nicole and I to battle out for fourth place. But the director will probably only want three, if that. Also, I will be auditioning for ban placement tomorrow. I play trumpet, you know. There'll be three bands at school next year: Wind Ensemble is the best, and then Symphonic Band and, following that, Concert band. I'm betting I make Symphonic. I think I have the skill to edge into Wind Ensemble, but ... the director and I are at odds. We don't like each other much.

Also, I get my braces off tomorrow!! Yay!! ^^

And update on my Prom situation: I'm not going. Instead, I shall be at my cousin's wedding. Honestly, I'd choose Prom over wedding any day, but ... without a date and without my parents being in town ... I have no choice in the matter. I'll miss you, my senior friends. Be sure to have a dance for me ... I think you guys can guess what I mean. ;)

I need to resurrect my website. Been working on appropriating funds for that. But, alas, I am poor. This is why I am trying to get a job ... and so I can have some money to blow at AX03! Heheh.

Tchao, all you non-existant readers!!

Merry Easter!!

My friend Caleb and I are planning to make a webcomic ... him being the muscles and I being the brains, and him being the brains to. So basically, him making a webcomic and me giving the occasional suggestion. But anyway, today we had a plot-hashing session ... where we just chewed over all these potential ideas for the plot of the thing. Good fun!

And I'm feeling good today, albeit tired, which is a rarity.

And I like RPGs. ^^

And I started writing a story! It's entitled "The Preceding Ode" and, well ... it'll be interesting. It should work on my un-1337 action-writing skillz. It's only in the primary drafts right now, but it should be improving and taking shape soon. Right now it's all foreshadow-y and hinting and stuff ... and setting up plot devices and neat little writer-tools.

Boy, did I just make it sound like writing is complicated or what? >< I suppose it's an attempt at glorifying one of the few things I'm halfway-decent at ...

I suppose this where I write something deeply religious and moving ... which really isn't my style, since I'm a big lazy bum. So I'll give it a shot anyway: I'm glad Easter came about. I know that if Jesus didn't die for my sins, then I'd suffer eternal condemnation, because, let's face it, I'm a morally weak person who doesn't have the guts to stand by his principles to the death. So I'm absolutely overjoyed that someone was willing to die for me. I know I couldn't do it. Here's to you, Christ Jesus!

Anyway, Merry Easter! I hope everyone who reads this got lots of candy or money or whatever it is you people get on this day!

For the first time in weeks, I was struck by a certain thought ...

"Boy, it's good to be alive."

Not that you guys (all none of you) should worry about me. I'm just satisfied with my indifference towards everything. But then today, as I was walking out of school (to detention, no less), I was just ... slapped upside the head by that thought. And I liked it.

Oh, on further note ... my friend Allison told me that I should get a date to Prom. I said that I didn't really know anyone, and she said something along the lines of "There's four sitting right behind you." Then she requested I name a reason why I wasn't going to Prom. I told her that I didn't want to go stag, I knew of no one who would go with me that I'd be comfortable with, that I was poor, and that my cousin was being married the same day, so I might as well go to that instead.

And she responded with something to the effect of "It annoys me when people feel sorry for themselves. Self-pity is disgusting." To which I replied that I don't feel sorry for myself, that I am perfectly indifferent to it, and that, in a strange way, I was satisfied with my indifference. That probably could have gotten a girlfriend if I changed myself in certain ways, but I don't think that I should do such a thing for such a reason. And she said that was even worse.

So I shrugged and walked off back to my RPG. ^^

And I still need to write something to get those creative juices flowing. I think I said it best yesterday when I said I feel "bottled up." I really do feel like that ... all this stuff stuck inside that's trying and trying to get out, but it can't because the exit is clogged.

Ew, that sounded gross. >)

Boy, am I tired.

I had a math test today. I'm exhausted. Both physically and spiritually. Is there such a thing as over-prayer?

I hope not.

I really need to write more. I'm feeling bottled up. I need some kind of written creative release. But the hardest thing about the whole concept is getting started. I -hate- getting started. But I'll need to. I'd ask for suggestions, but nobody reads this anyway.

... oh, yesterday was Tax Day.

Warg ... Sorry guys, but I've been depressed as of late. Mostly it revolves around my Prom date-- or lack thereof. Yes, it seems that even I, the Master of Wit and Wisdom, the Seer of Inane Sayings and Insanity, cannot get a date.

So I'm depressed.

And this is only compounded on the fact that, hey, I've been dateless my entire life. So now I'm sitting here at my computer, getting my daily dosage of radiation, and plotting against the world.

Just like the old days.

Not that there were any new ones. Anyway, my friend Caleb (who is, naturally, able to get any girl he wants just by saying "Yo, babe!") would help me out by seeing if there were any girls who would consider an atrocity as despicable as going to Prom with me.

I think I might try that "Yo, babe!" thing. It seems to work for him.

So in the meantime, I'm running around the school like Marvin the Manic-Depressive Robot, hoping that someone won't find it beneath their dignity to go out with me. You wouldn't think it would be quite as atrocious as it seems, since I have so many friends. But, alas and a lack, I can't get a girlfriend. And I would consider asking someone to go just as a friend, but all the girls I'd ask to go like that already have -real- dates.

So I'm screwed again.

And then we get onto the subject of Precal. I -suck- at Precal. And I have no idea how I'm going to manage that class. But if I actually apply myself properly, I might be able to squeeze through. Which reminds me, I gotta go study some now ...

So today's Wednesday. Yep, Hump Day. So called because it humps, I think.

Either way, I'm trying to convince my friend Caleb to do an online comic. If he does, it'd be hosted at my website, and it would SOOOOO rock! He's an awesome artist, and a fairly good story-teller. I'd help him get started with the plot, and then he'd have the 1337 skillz to just go -crazy- with it. Gotta love that.

I am so tired right now. But I finally feel able to express some artistic angst through this RPG I'm doing. It's really fun, but it's a private thing, so I can't tell you guys where it is.

Good news, as well: AT&T was bought out by Comcast, and Comcast isn't blocking my friend's website anymore. And since they aren't blocking his, mine is up and running again, too! Yay!! [wavies flag] This is good news because now I can actually update my site again and ... express more artistic angst.

Or some political statement like that.

Also ... today they tore down the Saddam Hussein statue in Baghdad. Good news, I think. But a precursor to some potential bad news ... this war is winding up, the UN will be taking over soon ... and then I predict we have a couple-month-to-couple-year break, and then war with North Korea. And that means that I'll probably get drafted ...

Oh well. Happiness for now! I'm trying to be more chipper.

Just made this blog. Woo-hoo!

Anyway ... been a stressfull past couple of days. Lots of work to do because of my Eagle Scout project. I run around rampant before I finally have the Board of Review on Wednesday ... only I don't, because I thought the coordinator was supposed to bring some paperwork, but it turns out -I- was supposed to. And, needless to say, I didn't. So I had it rescheduled for Friday; that is, tomorrow. Which means yesterday and today I am running around rampant again, attempting to get all the proper signatures and endorsements and dates to put on this confounded sheet of paper. And with any luck, I'll get it all done.

On further note, today is my sister's birthday.