Alright, I know I'm bad.

I feel really guilty.

I swear.

Honestly.

I should've written two weeks ago. At the very latest, I should have written a week ago. But instead, I just now blogged. I'm an evil kid.

I think this is because I had such a good time. You know ... it was so wonderful and ... this blog entry basically just ... finalizes the fact that it's closed. And I don't want to admit to myself that I'm not in Indiana anymore. So I won't talk about it anymore than to say it was great. No, is great.

School! Yay. I'm exempt from all of my exams except for Economics. Out of eight classes, I'm finished with seven. And I took at test in Econ today. I got a 77! Woohoo!! That's the highest I've ever scored on a multiple choice test in that class, I think. Which is actually saying something, because Mrs. Presley has an -extremely- difficult class. It's crazy.

Anyway, that's all. This hurts.

This is it.

Today I'm flying off into the wild blue yonder. Twenty four hours from now, I'll be sleeping in Indianapolis. Thirty six hours from now, I'll be holding my girl. Fourty eight hours from now, I'll be in her house.

It's a good feeling.

I hope she likes what I got her for her birthday. I think she will but ... I'm so dysfucntional at this kinda stuff that I'm not 100% sure that she would. She might expect something more like ... I dunno. Dating-y. Or something.

It's really cold. The temperature just dropped straight through the floor a couple days ago. Just ... BAM. First it was mid-50s, nice day out. Then, the next thing you know, it's upper 20s and the dog refuses to go outside to take care of his business 'cuz it's too dang cold. That teaches you something right there, when the -dog- refuses to go outside. Dogs are supposed to love the outside. I mean, they -live- there naturally. Crazed beasts.

Anyways, I need to make sure that all my nice warm clothing is packed and that I'll look nice for my girl. Expect an update here in a week or so, after I get back!

More lateness. More me being a bad kid. ^^

I'm leaving on Tuesday. I meet up with Amber on Wednesday. I leave Indiana a week from tomorrow. Yeah ... long time.

School is being slugged through in a rather ... unwilling yet determined fashion. I'm slowly beating all my stuff. All As, except for a C in Economics. Blasted class. I hate it. But I'm rather happy with all my other classes!

Amber and I are really looking forward to next week. It's only three days away! Woohoo!!

Yeah yeah yeah. I'm a bad kid.

But I rubbed Sam outta the picture. >)

... anyway. I'm going back up to Indiana over Thanksgiving. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday thereof. Hopefully I'll be with Amber from Wednesday to Sunday, straight. If everything goes according to plan.

I think I've found something that I honestly wouldn't mind doing for the rest of my life. Career-wise, I mean! Psychology. Yeah, it's amusing because I have a friend who's in college, studying to be a psychologist, and I always made fun of her about it. You know, call her "psycho" and the like. And here I am, finding myself fascinated with it. I always was, to some degree ... but it's just incredibly interesting now.

Model United Nations is also good ... but I've never even mentioned it here before. I'm hoping we get better country selections at the next conference than we de at the last one. I was placed in Cameroon. >< Gack. How boring. I mean, they have -no- wait whatsoever in anything that they do. Y'know ... can't really push people around. I want to get Japan or a different WEOG nation at the next conference. That'd be great. I got nominated for Best Delegate somehow at this last one ... not really sure how. It's not like I could do anything besides like ... sit there and listen to the powerful nations. Oh well.

... I am -so- looking forward to Thanksgiving!

Wow. It's been a while, hasn't it?

That's why I hate marching season. So little time. I wake up at 5:45 every morning to go to school, and then when I get home, I do my homework and then crash in bed. I feel so tired, I don't think I could take writing a little something here.

I'm beginning to get worried about Amber. Her mom has set her up on dates with this guy Sam, who seems to have definately fallen for her. And she feels herself falling for him. So I need to figure out how to win her back from this guy that has a natural advantage of location.

So I'll be putting my best moves on her come Thanksgiving, when I'll be going up there for four days.

And, just to mention, tomorrow will be one month after my first kiss with her.

Just as an FYI to all you non-existant readers out there, I'll be gone this weekend! I'm going on my first college tour to one of my primary choices ... Texas A&M. I'll be down there all weekend ... and hopefully it'll take my mind off of Amber for a bit.

Weekends are the hardest to deal with because I don't have stuff thrust in front of me to occupy my mind. Which means my mind keeps wondering back to her.

Anyway, mom's home! Gotta work on my Health stuff!!

There's really nothing to say.

I've inserted myself back into my normal life. I attend school, go to band practices, and attend scout meetings.

But there's something missing.

It's Amber.

I want her here so bad ... I want to be there so bad ... I honestly don't understand how I managed to survive over 17 and a half years without her. That's over 6300 days. And with just a single day, I suddenly can't see how I survived all those other thousands. It really just makes no sense. I wish she was here to hug me, to hold my hand, to smile ... so I could just see those incredible eyes of hers. I'm just hoping I can somehow live until November, so I can see her again.

Important Upcoming Dates:
October 3, Friday: Homecoming Game
October 4, Saturday: Marching Festival (our first contest)
October 5, Sunday: My 18th birthday
October 6, Monday: Senior Information Night at school

... gonna be busy that weekend, huh?

I'm back from Indiana but too happy and too sad to write here now ...

So I'll write later.

Wow, this is the shortest entry I've ever had! ^^

This is going to be really short because I can't concentrate.

In approximately twenty-four teensy-weensy gigantic mega hours, I'll be driving out of my house, heading vaguely towards Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. From there, I get on a plane and fly to Indiana. Roughly twelve hours after landing, I'll be standing in front of a restaurant, smiling broadly, as a certain female walks towards me.

I think I'm gonna die! ^^

School is fine. Turned in an essay to my English teacher today. I'm not sure how good it is. Oh well!

I'll be leaving for the French Club party in a few minutes. Should be fun. I'll be leaving early so I can come back home and talk to ma petite amie for a bit. >< Whoo, I'm whipped!

Today's September 11th. The second anniversary. I'm really not sure how I feel about that. We had ... I think three moments of silence today. Which is almost overdoing it, if you ask me. It starts reverent, and then slowly gets less and less so ... to the point that one almost doesn't care any more. And I don't think that the goal is to desensitize people to one of our nation's greatest tragedies.

Anyway, shortness has expired!! Bye! ^^

Wee!! Less than a week until I go up to Indiana!!

Anxious-excited!

On Thursday, we have a football game to play at. Yeah, it'll suck. Like, getting back home at midnight and doing homework before getting ready to march at 6:15AM on Friday kind of suck. Yeah, that's pretty sucky, huh? Not something I'm looking forward to.

And then, on Friday, I come home and talk to my amante for about an hour or so before fixing myself some ramen for dinner and then my mother and I leave for the airport. Whoo!! And the plan leaves at 8:54 on the dot (HA! Yeah right), and then we land in Indiana two hours later. Then I wake up and get all ready for meeting her; the rising sun.

Wee, it's going to be a fun Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday ... I hope I live. x.x

Been a few days!! So sorry!

So now that I've ranted several times about how I'm going to meet my amante and such ... I thought I'd take a short break and do some ranting on school.

Academic Decathalon is going interesting. Will be hard. Will be fun. Economics is incredibly difficult. Newspaper is amazing. Quite fun. A lot of interesting work ... love writing. English will be interesting. World History is amazing. I love that class. Band is not too bad; the director has let up on me a lot. However, the band as a whole is doing a lot worse than last year. 'Tis a shame. Psychology is very interesting ... very enjoyable.

Wow, that was boring. =p Now would you prefer that I write about my amante or about my school?? ^^

I promise that I meant to write here last night. ^^

Things are -definately- starting to come together for when I go up to Indiana. We've set the date as September 13th. I'll arrive late on the 12th and have to leave on the 14th. We'll be walking around the mall, playing putt-putt ... and perhaps going to a movie or visiting a museum or visiting the zoo. So anyway, I'm about ready to jump outta my skin in excitement. ^^

And her mom said I'm a really nice kid. O.o

So anyway, I'm sitting here listening to the Eagles, and doing my very bestest not to panic. ^^ The good news is that the Eagles sang a lot of songs like "Take it Easy" and "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" ... so I've got something to soothe my nervousness. But alas, 'tis time for bed. Got homework and stuff to do this weekend, as well as finish hashing out my plans for Indy-state.

Man, I am walking on clouds!!

Last night, a person who has been mentioned in this blog at least a half a dozen times told me that her mom would definately allow us to get together when I go up to Indiana next month. So we're hashing together all sorts of plans that we could do together. It's SO much fun!! I think it's been a long, long time since I've ever been so happy. ^^

All in all, a good day. As you can guess, my mind has been wandering a LOT today. Even more so than usual. And even more directed to a female than usual.

I think I'm coming a bit more to grips with this whole situation I've gotten myself thrusted into. It's very interesting, a little more than slightly odd ... but it's okay. I can cope with that.

I gotta focus more on my studies. ^^

... on that note, tchao for now!!

The good thing about having a blog is that you can unload all your annoying little feelings in one fell blow and publicize it to the world with very little chance of anyone actually ever reading it; minus, of course, one person. Which really isn't that bad, because only good has come from this one person reading stuff that was freely displayed and yet they were never supposed to actually read. So far. ^^

And, while we're on the topic of this one person ... boy, can this person make you feel better. I talked with her for just a few minutes and wow, it feels like a weight's lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much better about -everything- after talking to her ... it's ... incredible, in a way.

Kinda disturbing in another. ^^

Today, for an odd reason, is a lot better than yesterday. I'm not sure why. Today's weather and general atmosphere would've been more conducive to that whole massive depression-type thing goin' on yesterday ... but it didn't really fit! Oh well!!

It rained a lot today. A -LOT-. I was driving home from school with my windshield wipers going full blast and I could barely see ten feet in front of me. The traffic lights weren't working. I was one of the last cars to make it under the highway before the bridge-thing flooded out. I was about five feet behind the car in front of me, who was about five feet behind the car in front of him, who was about five feet behind the car in front of him ... all because we couldn't see the road in the midst of this typhoon they call "some rain." We were driving 10 mph down Valley Creek Trail! Kinda crazy. The power was out for almost two hours at my house, judging as best as I can from my own meager time-management skillz.

Kinda fun, really. >D

I didn't mention it yet, but I got my Eagle Scout ring. ^^ It's really cool ... I now have my class ring on my right hand and my Eagle Scout ring on my left. ^^ The theory is that the right hand represents my current school, and my left hand will represent my greatest accomplishment to date. ^^ Therefore, college ring goes on right and wedding ring goes on left. Theoretically, of course. I have to overcome some various problems and obstacles before I can get either one of the replacements.

Oh! And this certain person I mentioned earlier seems to think that it's really sexy when I do this "Rawr!" growling thing like Tigger. [shrug] I dunno ... I think she's crazy. But, then again ... I always thought she was crazy!! ^^

So there we have it ... today's not much different than yesterday, but I feel so much better. Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. Or maybe I just feel better from talking to that certain person for a couple of hours! [shrug] Or perhaps I'm just crazy. I think it's a combination of the last two.

Yay. -.- Look at me. I'm updating like I said I would.

And I'm in a -really- bad mood. I got my AP scores back (and had no idea that they had been found). I got a 2 on the US History and a 3 on the English. Which is, to say the least, slightly depressing. I did, after all, score a 3 on the US History and a 5 on the English practice exams.

Life can be so revolting sometimes!

And my loverly band director, Mr. StuFlo, that idiot, starts chewing me out because I "can't play this piece!" ... while, however, I actually -can- play it; and just fine at that. He shouts at the trumpet section as if we're blithering idiots, and it just angers me oh-so-much. "Andrew! You've been with Jeremy a long time!! Why do you let him show you up so bad!?" Well, you fat stupid Mexican, if you wanted to know -why- it is that he "shows me up," it's because YOU continually screw me over. After all, -I- was ahead of him our entire freshman year! But, since you and Mr. Weisberg have taken an inherent dislike to me, you continually thrust ME on the parts that contain "whole nooote ... whole nooote ... whole nooote ... " whereas HE gets the sixteenth-note runs and chromatic scale works. If you would fricking give me something worth PLAYING, then I might actually improve, rather than get worse. So, Mr. I'm-So-High-And-Mighty, shove that stupid drum stick up your own butt and don't remove it until you feel like not being such a bloody fool.

So now I'm going to sit in my room and listen to sad music until a certain someone comes online. Hopefully she can cheer me up.

I've sworn to do better about updating this thing.

Or, if not sworn, privately hope. ^^

So, my school schedule is partially fixed in a maybe possibly kinda way that really leaves everything open in the air. I'm trying to weasel my way into Statistics and European History and ... I don't know. But the good news is I've made some headway.

Speaking of headway, none was made on AP, so far. So that's still bothering me, to say the least.

No time to play EQ or talk to my friends on it as of late, which kinda brings me down. They're good friends, y'know? Oh, well. I suppose I can tough it out for a few more days.

And you guessed it: Update with Andrew on his crush'n stuff ... That's turning out to actually be, erm ... really interesting. ^^ We're both new to this stuff and, well ... confused! It seems we're falling farther and farther for each other. Not sure if that's good or bad, as I've said before. Life isn't a Meg Ryan movie, there's no "secret love" on the internet that's gonna pop up and be true romance or something like that ... ... is there? Before, I was so certain. Now I'm not.

My best friend Caleb got a girlfriend a few months before the school year ended. He's become hopelessly entangled; or, as a Olivia Newton John song put it "Hopelessly Devoted." He pops up on her doorstep just to give her flowers or something. He's almost completely dropped his friends ... I'm one of the few that have managed to keep up with him. I couldn't believe he could just ... almost abandon his friends in such a manner. Now I can almost see myself doing this; and I value my friends more than my own life. It's rather ... confusing, such thoughts, you know?

I get this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach of millions of butterflies, flying up, almost popping out into my mouth there's so many. It's a feeling that I both love dearly and ... ... can't stand. I don't know if there's a better way to put it. I wish I were behaving like my normal self and not have such a funny feeling going on. Like a light, enjoyable queasiness, if such a thing makes sense. That's the best I can describe it ... a queasy feeling in my stomach that just seems so ... ... pleasurable.

So I'm going to go rumenate now!

Wow, and I felt guilty for not updating this in ten days. Ha, now it's been ... [quickly counts on fingers] A lot. Like almost two months.

So, what's happened? Hella lot. School starts tomorrow. I'm a senior. Good thing? I hope so. Guaranteed? Definately not.

The Advanced Placement people LOST my scores! So I'm royally ticked off. They managed to find my US History score and have sent it in the mail, so hopefully it'll arrive soon. However, they can't find my English score at all, and it's really ticking me off. I was hoping for a 5 on that, and thought I actually stood a chance at it. Then, suddenly, THEY LOST IT. And that really bothers me, especially since one of my best friends was the ONLY PERSON in my school to get a five on the English 3 exam. Me getting a five on this would -definately- boost my self-confidence, and thus I'd really rather prefer to have the score found.

Further note: my school schedule has been royally screwed up. This also ticks me off. I mean, senior year! Things are supposed to go -my- way, not the way of Random Joe the Officerworker! So I'm trying to knock heads together and get stuff to work. But it doesn't seem to be happening. I'll keep you guys updated (hopefull). ^^

Uh ... let's see ... EQ is goin' good. I think I mentioned in June that I switched into a new guild, but not sure. Anyway, the guild is really taking shape. I'm one of the founding members, and a well-respected one, too. I know the game inside and out and can make good strog calls that're definately going to come true, so I've been called on for some help. Unfortunately, I'm really poor in-game so, due to my budget, my armor and weapons aren't very good and cut into my ability to actually perform well in battle. But I can make proper calls and the like easily.

And this is weighing a little heavy on me at the moment, so ... I'll say it here. The girl I happened to mention on my June 10th update read this blogger. And I thought no one did that. So this is ... interesting ... 'cuz she found out I have a crush on her. And she also says "you were right to think I have a crush on you." So I'm in completely unchartered territory. I'm not sure if I should be mapping terrain, befriending the tigers, or running from them. I'm rather ... er ... in a quandry. ^^

Anyways ... that's good enough for now. I'm exhausted and feeling rather ... tired. Go figure. So I'm just gonna post this and precede to feel bad about not updating it for two months. ^^

Ten days have passed!! I feel so guilty for not updating!!

Like I said on my webpage, a lot of stuff has come up. I find myself rushing to get as much EverQuestin' in as I can before I leave in July. I'm writing letters to that certain friend in Spain, which probably isn't too wonderful for me, for the reason listed in my last blog. I've been trying to write and build up what little skill I have in that. I've been saying goodbye to my sister, because we will see each other for about five days this summer, starting two days ago. I've been doing a lot of tearful parting with some senior friends of mine ... people that I'm going to miss so badly it hurts during my next school year. I've been working on my drawing in the hopes that, if I get good enough, I can start a little webcomic of my own. And I've also been doing my fair share of sitting around doing nothing. It feels like, after the past school year, I could really use some sitting-around-time.

So that's where things stand on my point of view.

I need to ready myself for July ... July 1st through 8th, I am in Anaheim, California, for the Anime Expo 2003 convention. Immediately after I get back, I'm rushed to the Newspaper Camp for newspaper class at school. After that, I have a single day off, before I'm bustled across the state to Boy Scout summer camp. I should get back from this on the 19th or so ... I'm not exactly sure. Anyway, that's the plan! Here's hopin' it pulls through.

There's something to be said for life ... though I personally have no idea what it is.

Hmm, well ... school's out. I woulda thought I would have felt a lot better. But I don't. There's reasons for that, mostly because of my sister and myself, but still. I'm kinda disappointed.

The disappointment also has something to do with a certain friend going to Spain for the summer. Gone for seven weeks, no less. I won't get to see her until I've only got about ... three weeks of summer left. And two weeks of that is marching season, of course. I'm not really sure if this is some kind of blessing from God or some kind of curse ... because I think I was beginning to develop a crush on her. I only know her online, and I -really- despise those "online romances" that seem to be running rampant these days. So I'm not sure if this is good or bad. The even more confusing thing is that, well, I think she might've returned it or whatnot ... and those readers out there who know me actually know that this in itself would have been a miracle.

I'm gonna try to go get a job tomorrow, so let's hope that pans out well. I'll tell you guys how I feel after the application tomorrow.

My sister leaves to go to Europe on about a week. She's visiting a half-dozen countries in a month. Lucky son of a ...

So that's where life stands. School's out, but I don't feel much better. A girl I could actually consider going out with is leaving me for two months. Even my sister gets to visit foreign countries over summer. And I don't even have a job.

So, on what's said about life ... I think it's this: Life screws you, but you love it anyway.

Hey guys! There's more readers out there these days ... now that I've shamelessly plugged my website on my AIM info. ^^

Bye seniors. [cries] I missed you at school today.

On further note, I went camera-crazy today!! Got tons of pictures of my friends at school and stuff!! I love cameras!! I'm trying to get a digital camera to take on things like Anime Expo, Gloria Shields Newspaper Camp, and Boy Scout camp. Either way, it was really fun getting some of those pictures. Like Allison and Lauryn. ^^ And, of course, Olga trying to hide behind people in the group picture. Always fun!

Um, I'm really confused today, random readers. >< Someone said I was hot. x.x The exact quote was "you look hot in that pic." Kinda weirdin' me out. I mean, no one says that stuff about me. It's really confusing to have someone say that to you after seventeen years of being dateless. 'cuz it's apparently not true, but then they sound sincere about it ... kinda funky. I think I'm just going to write it off to either temporary insanity or heat fatigue, and then just keep it remembered in one of those little private places deep in the recesses of my mind. ^^

Thank you God. >< Only four more school days left, and one of 'em is a half-day.